so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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