I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am naked and annoyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize