wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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