Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
