don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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