He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
