While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
