I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
