U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
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