You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will be naked everywhere
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
