Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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