he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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