Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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