I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
