I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
