If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
