So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
