She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
