I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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