It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
