I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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