Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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