after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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