Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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