I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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