You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
