He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
