Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
