I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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