she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
