you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
