I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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