I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
