my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize