I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
