Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
