is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just had sex on a roof
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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