return my video game
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize