Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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