I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
