i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
