There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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