Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
