if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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