We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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