My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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