you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
being pregnant is like rehab
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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