her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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