I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
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She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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