scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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