its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
accomplished twins. life is a go
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
