I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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