I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
