Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
