I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
is that a dick in a sweater?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
