You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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