I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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