Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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