Umm I'm too high to move.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize