"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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